A one-page sheet beats a long lecture
Verbal house rules fade under jet lag, language load, and mixed spouse instructions. A simple written house rules sheet — ideally one page — gives a migrant domestic worker (MDW / FDW) something she can re-read, and gives you one employer voice instead of “he said / she said.”
This page is an employer how-to for Singapore households: what to put on the sheet (duties, rest day, phone, sleep, visitors, food), how to introduce it without hostility, how to update it, and when your licensed employment agency (EA) should see it. It is general employment guidance only. Ministry of Manpower (MOM): confirm live rest-day, accommodation, and welfare rules on mom.gov.sg.
Use neighbouring hubs for depth this page does not re-write:
- Pre-arrival room / keys / starter draft: Preparing your home before your domestic helper arrives
- First-fortnight living-together map: First two weeks with a new domestic helper — onboarding tips
- Privacy / room / visitors / cameras: Privacy boundaries for live-in domestic workers
- Overnight hours / night wake-ups: Sleep schedule expectations for live-in helpers
- Phone / Wi‑Fi / social media / photos: Setting phone and social media boundaries fairly
- Rest-day rules (flagship): Rest days for domestic helpers in Singapore — rules and fair arrangements
- This article: the one-page written consolidator — short bullets that point to those spines, not another essay
Hard rule: do not invent salary, levy, agency fees, insurance premiums, or “house rules package” dollars from this article. Money and compliance sit with your signed terms, your licensed EA, and live MOM guidance — not with a blog post.
SmartMaid.com.sg is a search marketplace. You browse and shortlist biodata published by licensed agencies; SmartMaid is a maid search platform, not a mediator, and does not draft or enforce your household rules. See How Smart Maid Singapore differs from a maid agency.
Who owns the house-rules sheet (employer / EA / MOM / platform)
| Party | Role on the written house rules sheet |
|---|---|
| You (employer of record) | Draft short, fair norms; one employer voice; introduce calmly; update when life changes; escalate welfare risks promptly |
| Licensed EA | May review the sheet during aftercare / mediation; help reset wording if disputes escalate — per your service agreement |
| MOM | Sets employment standards (rest days, salary payment, accommodation / reasonable privacy, ill-treatment). Welfare channels are for safety and compliance, not for “we prefer the cups stacked differently” |
| SmartMaid | Search and shortlist published biodata if you later need a next hire; does not write your fridge note or sit in your rules briefing |
Our guide Preparing Your Home Before Your Domestic Helper Arrives gets a starter draft ready before arrival. Our guide First Two Weeks with a New Domestic Helper: Onboarding Tips times when you reinforce rules in week 1–2. Our guide Privacy Boundaries for Live-In Domestic Workers / #30 / #31 own depth on privacy, overnight, and phone. This page owns the sheet as a document.
What to include (keep it to one page)
Aim for plain English, short bullets, and optional simple translations or labelled photos of appliances. A sheet she cannot finish reading is not “more professional” — it is noise.
1. Duties (lite — not a 40-task dump)
- Top daily / weekly duties in your home (e.g. breakfast support, laundry days, school-bag checklist, elder meds reminder if applicable).
- Which tasks need a demo first vs which she already knows from biodata.
- What she must escalate to you (child fever concern, appliance fault, visitor at the gate) vs handle herself.
- Peak-week note: when guests or exams land, name what drops — do not silently stack. Fair load depth: Preventing burnout through fair workloads if you need load math later.
Do not paste the entire employment contract onto the fridge. The sheet supports day-to-day clarity; the contract and MOM rules sit elsewhere.
2. Rest day
- Which weekday is her rest day (or how the pattern works if it rotates with agreement).
- Usual start / end of the rest-day window in your household.
- How replacement rest or compensation is handled in principle when she works on a rest day — amounts stay with your EA / MOM discussion, not invented on this blog.
- Where the calendar lives so she can see the next rest day.
Full legal and fairness framing: Rest days for domestic helpers in Singapore.
3. Phone and social media (pointer + 4–5 lines)
- Wi‑Fi for reasonable personal use.
- Usual family call / video windows on workdays; freer on rest day.
- Quiet / headphones after children’s bedtime.
- No posting photos of children / the home without your agreement.
- No phone confiscation as punishment for ordinary performance issues.
Depth lives on our guide Setting Phone and Social Media Boundaries Fairly — the sheet only needs the household’s short version.
4. Sleep and quiet hours (pointer + 4–5 lines)
- Usual lights-out / off-chore evening band.
- Who may wake her overnight, and what counts as an emergency vs a preference.
- Recovery move after a broken night (lighter morning / nap if safe) when night care is part of the job.
Depth lives on our guide Sleep Schedule Expectations for Live-In Helpers. Room dignity (knock before entering, storage she controls) points to our guide Privacy Boundaries for Live-In Domestic Workers.
5. Visitors
- Default: no personal visitors without prior agreement.
- Notice needed; which areas are off-limits.
- Separate your guests (work hosting) from her guests (personal, by agreement).
- Delivery / contractor access when you are out.
Privacy / visitor depth: our guide Privacy Boundaries for Live-In Domestic Workers.
6. Food
- Dietary needs (hers and yours): religion, allergies, no-pork / no-beef / vegetarian preferences.
- Who cooks which meals; which nights the family eats out.
- Shared fridge / shelf space vs food she bought for herself.
- Grocery process in principle (who shops, how receipts work) — no dollar amounts on this page.
Food talk often starts on our guide Preparing Your Home Before Your Domestic Helper Arrives before arrival or our guide First Two Weeks with a New Domestic Helper: Onboarding Tips in week 1 — the sheet freezes the agreed version.
Optional footer (high value, still short)
- Your phone + emergency contacts (clinic, nearest relative, agency coordinator).
- Address / nearest MRT for errands.
- Fire exit / first-aid basics in one line.
- Version date and “ask us if something is unclear.”
Sample one-page outline (copy and adapt)
Use this as a structure, not a legal form. Adapt to your flat, children, elders, and faith practices.
```
HOUSE RULES — [Family surname] — version [date]
- Duties (top priorities)
- …
- Rest day
- Weekday: … | Calendar on: …
- Phone / Wi-Fi / photos
- Call windows: … | Quiet after: … | No child photos without OK
- Sleep / quiet hours
- Off-chore after: … | Night wakes: …
- Visitors
- Ask first; areas off-limits: …
- Food
- Allergies / religion: … | Her shelf: …
- Emergencies
- Employer: … | Agency: … | Clinic: …
Questions welcome. We will update this sheet together when routines change.
```
Keep language respectful. Avoid personality labels (“lazy,” “sneaky”). Write observable behaviours and times.
How to introduce the sheet without hostility
A house-rules sheet fails when it arrives as a surprise interrogation or a wall of “don’ts” on arrival night.
Fair introduce sequence
- Draft before or early after arrival — our guide Preparing Your Home Before Your Domestic Helper Arrives gets a starter ready; do not invent a 10-page manual at midnight after SIP.
- Sit down when both of you can focus (not while she unpacks; not during a toddler meltdown). Our guide First Two Weeks with a New Domestic Helper: Onboarding Tips’s day 1–3 tip: keep night-one rules to a few non‑negotiables; walk the full sheet later in week 1.
- Read it with her, not at her. Invite questions: “Which line is unclear?” “Does your family call time need a different window?”
- One employer voice. If spouses disagree, align adults first — mixed rules destroy trust faster than a missing bullet.
- Tone: “This helps both of us remember” beats “so you don’t break our rules.” Praise early efforts when she follows a new line.
- Offer a copy she can keep (paper in her drawer or a shared phone photo of the page).
What hostility looks like (avoid)
- Sliding a laminated list under her door with no talk.
- Reading only punishments and fines (and inventing dollars).
- Comparing her to a previous helper on the sheet itself.
- Using the sheet as a daily scorecard in front of children or guests.
Update process (version control for real life)
Households change: newborn arrives, elder returns from hospital, school term starts, rest-day pattern shifts. A frozen sheet from month one becomes fiction.
| When to update | How |
|---|---|
| After week‑2 feedback chat | Adjust 1–2 lines only; reprint or rewrite the date |
| Rest-day pattern changes | Update weekday + calendar location the same day you agree |
| Phone / overnight / visitor friction returns | Tighten the short pointer; open the depth page (#29 / #30 / #31) for the conversation |
| New baby / elder care / guest week | Add temporary duties and name what pauses |
| After EA mediation resets expectations | Rewrite the disputed section together; new version date |
Habits that work
- Put a version date at the top every time.
- Keep one living copy (fridge + her copy) — not three conflicting WhatsApp forwards.
- Tell her what changed in one sentence; do not assume she reads minds.
- Drop obsolete lines instead of stacking forever.
When the agency should see the sheet
Your licensed EA does not need every fridge note. Share the sheet when it helps aftercare or prevents he-said / she-said.
Share (or offer) the sheet when
- You request aftercare mediation about duties, rest day, phone, overnight, visitors, or food friction.
- Placement is new and the EA asks for household expectations during the first months.
- You and she disagree about what was “already agreed.”
- You are considering a formal warning path under your service agreement — written norms help everyone stay factual.
- Safety, isolation, confiscation, or welfare concerns appear — document calmly and loop the EA promptly (early-issue map: When to loop the agency into early issues).
Usually no need to email the EA for
- Tiny preference tweaks (cup stacking, spice level) you already resolved face-to-face.
- A draft you have not yet walked with her.
- Asking SmartMaid chat to “approve” your rules — SmartMaid is not your agency.
MOM welfare channels remain for safety and compliance, not for ordinary preference disputes. Confirm live pathways on mom.gov.sg.
FAQ
Do I need a written sheet if we already talked?
Talking helps; writing sticks — especially with jet lag, second-language English, and two employers giving different verbal versions.
How long should it be?
One page is the target. If you need depth on privacy, sleep, or phone, keep short pointers and open our guide Privacy Boundaries for Live-In Domestic Workers / #30 / #31.
Is this a contract?
It is a day-to-day clarity tool. Employment terms, salary, and MOM obligations live in your signed documents and live MOM rules — not on the fridge alone.
When do I introduce it — day 1 or later?
Starter non‑negotiables on day 1; full calm walk-through later in week 1 when she has rested. Sequence: our guide Preparing Your Home Before Your Domestic Helper Arrives (prep) → this sheet → our guide First Two Weeks with a New Domestic Helper: Onboarding Tips (fortnight reinforcement).
Can I invent fines on the sheet?
Do not invent dollar penalties from a blog post. Money and discipline frameworks belong with your EA agreement and MOM-compliant practice.
What if she refuses to acknowledge the sheet?
Stay calm, check language clarity, invite her questions, and loop the licensed EA if refusal continues or safety is involved — not SmartMaid.
Can SmartMaid write or enforce our house rules?
SmartMaid is a smart maid search platform.
Next steps
- Draft a one-page sheet using the outline above (duties lite, rest day, phone, sleep, visitors, food, emergencies, version date).
- Align one employer voice before you sit with her.
- Walk the sheet calmly in week 1; invite questions — pacing on our guide First Two Weeks with a New Domestic Helper: Onboarding Tips.
- Point depth topics to our guide Privacy Boundaries for Live-In Domestic Workers (privacy), #30 (sleep), #31 (phone) instead of inflating the page.
- Put the rest-day calendar where she can see it — detail on the rest-days flagship.
- Update the version date when life changes; share with your licensed EA when aftercare or mediation needs the same written facts. For a future hire, shortlist on search maids · transfer maids.
This article is general employer guidance only. It is not legal advice and not a substitute for your employment contract or MOM procedures. Accommodation, rest-day, salary payment, ill-treatment, Work Permit, and welfare rules can change. Confirm current requirements with your licensed employment agency, your signed agreement, and on mom.gov.sg.
